Day 10: Someone You Need to Let Go, or Wish You Didn't Know

Friendship is a two-way street.  I admit to often being guilty of expecting to be sought out by friends.  It's something that I've been working to change. I know that I don't like being alone too much and that I can't expect the friends to come to me.  I have to put effort into my relationships.

As much as I know I have to contribute to friendships, I think that there is a point where enough is enough.  I will try to keep a friendship alive only so long.  If the other person is continually avoiding me or apathetic,  it may be time to pull the plug.

I have a certain friend that came to mind and it disappoints me.  We were close, roommates, assumed to be sisters by most.  I won't say the friendship turned one-sided entirely, but after having her boyfriend live with us for three months rent-free and other escapades, I was exhausted.  She seemed to live in a dream world.  There were moments of clarity during which I and her other close friends saw "the real" her.  She'd always slip back into dream world though.  It was a world without consequences and she was the sun, the center.

She left a month and a half ago to study abroad, postponing her graduation and acquiring several loans on what seemed like a whim.  I've spoken to her perhaps three times, the conversations always initiated by me.  Sometimes I'd reach out to her with no response, sometimes with half-interested bullsh*t.  She hasn't the slightest idea of anything that's happened in my life since she left, that I know of.  She hasn't asked.  There were lines in our sparse correspondence about my current situations, but she never acknowledged them or asked for details.  It hurt knowing that I could tell someone I'd considered my best friend that I'd been laid off and that I needed a huge repair on my car and get no response from them.

In a month, she'll be back.  The Roommate and I will be living in our new apartment already and all of her things will have been moved back to her parents' house.  I don't know when I'll see her.  I may seek her out, because I'm a bit reluctant to admit that we may not even be friends anymore.  I don't know if she'll call me or even think to.